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It might seem like a stretch to think that experiences with your caregiver that happened as early as day one...or even hour one...of life, would influence how you might experience relationships as an adult. Those non-verbal cues like eye contact, your caregiver's tone, their presence (consistent or otherwise), whether they held you, hugged you, and so many other interactions all affected future relationship. That's not intended to sound ominous but more, to help you possibly understand how some of the strengths or maybe vulnerabilities within your relationships now, might be influenced. If…

It is common and understandable to have reactions to "parts work". It is becoming a common way of working with trauma and family dysfunction that has been made popular by Internal Family Systems (IFS). I use it a lot in my work with people. Common reactions are - I don't have parts, I am just me, or that parts are not real; we imagine them. There may be other reactions. One that comes up for me (even though I work in this way) is that I don't like to go along with the latest fad and that nothing is new. So, I want to put IFS into perspective and discuss how we might see a "part."…

The human mind has evolved to solve complex problems and navigate the environment with unmatched dexterity. This potent tool has empowered humans to innovate, build civilizations, and achieve feats that are unparalleled in the animal kingdom. However, this same capacity for thought and reflection can become a source of distress. The mind's ability to ponder the past and imagine the future can lead to anxiety, regret, and countless forms of mental suffering. In essence, the mind that has been honed to master external challenges now, at times, turns its considerable power against itself…

Do you find yourself easily thrown off? If something goes wrong at work are you ruminating for days or weeks? If you don't get a text returned do you feel so hurt that you can't study, go to the gym or even get out of bed? Making space for feelings is important, yes. In recent years, however, I see an increased number of people who are suffering from an inability to gather themselves, to muster, to gain perspective, and to carry on. If this resonates with you keep reading. How do we get grit? Here are some tools to add to your belt to help you increase your mental strength: (1) Get in their…

I am going to say something somewhat controversial. We have very few needs in our relationships. I might go as far as saying that we don’t need anything from our partner. We need air to breathe and food to eat. This is the level of need. It is associated with our survival. Language is powerful. This is why when we use the word need to express what we want in relationships it has the energy of ‘must-have urgency’ behind it. It is a demand. Let’s compare expressions for a moment. I need your attention vs I want your attention or can I have your attention? Take a moment to say each phrase out…

Living with ADHD is a unique journey that presents its own set of challenges and opportunities for growth. This condition goes beyond occasional distractions or forgetfulness; it profoundly influences one’s ability to manage daily tasks, maintain relationships, and achieve personal goals. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) intricately weaves through the fabric of an individual’s life, affecting their emotional, academic, and professional landscapes. The support of skilled professionals illuminates the path to managing ADHD symptoms more effectively. Engaging with ADHD Support…

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an inevitable part of our daily lives. From the moment we wake up, we are bombarded with a myriad of responsibilities and demands, be it emails, client calls, household tasks, or caregiving. As a result, our sympathetic nervous system, responsible for triggering the fight-or-flight response, is constantly triggered, leading to feelings of overwhelm and short tempers. However, there is a way to regain control and find balance amidst this chaos – mindfulness. The Sympathetic Nervous System: A Constant Trigger:Our sympathetic nervous system is a…

In recent years, the Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, has provided valuable insights into understanding the connection between chronic stress, anxiety, and our body's innate response system. This theory suggests that our autonomic nervous system plays a crucial role in our emotional well-being. The theory is based on the notion that this system is dynamically regulated by our experiences and can greatly impact our mental health. The autonomic nervous system consists of three components: the ventral vagal nerve, the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), and the dorsal vagal nerve…

Let's do a check-in: Are you where you want to be in life- Financially? Romantically? Parenthood- or Career-wise? If yes, great. If not, what's gotten in the way? Two actions need to be practiced to get to living the life you want. First is knowing what your goal is. And that takes defining what you want and with a timeline. For example, "I'd like to own a home by the time I am 40". Or "I want to give birth to my first child before my 35th birthday." If this is easy for you, great. If not, perhaps you haven't had enough practice exploring what you want and deciding your own goals, and with a…

Internal Family System, developed by Richard Schwartz, a Marriage and Family Therapist, is a therapeutic approach that recognizes the presence of different parts within individuals, just like how different members exist within a family. The purpose of Internal Family System is to address and work with these various internal parts. In my therapy sessions with clients, I often utilize this approach to help them identify their internal parts and activate the Self, which serves as the leader of these internal family members (the parts). Allow me to share a personal example of how I have applied…