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How's parenting going for you these days? If you're finding it easy that's great. Some people find parenting comes easily to them. Others find it pretty challenging. Especially this day in age with anxiety in our kids reaching maximum levels. How do you manage your child or teen's anxiety? Are you able to be present and not take it on? Or does it ruin your mood when your child is having a hard time? It's totally normal and expected to not be thrilled when your kids are down. You love them and want to protect them. Do you often take on their emotions too deeply though? To the point where your…
In today's world of smartphones, tablets, and instant gratification, we are witnessing a crisis in frustration tolerance. Technology has revolutionized our lives, making everything faster and more accessible—but at what cost? While adults may struggle with patience in the face of rapid digital convenience, the impact on young children is even more profound. Their developing brains are being wired for immediacy, leaving them ill-equipped to manage delay, disappointment, and emotional regulation. The Effects on Young Minds Childhood is a critical period for developing emotional resilience. In…
As parents, we spend much of our lives trying to anticipate and provide for our children's physical, intellectual and emotional needs. When they're young, we become their personal sherpas carrying backpacks filled with wipes, sunscreen, extra clothes, band-aids, favorite toys, books and snacks. As they grow into young adults, they probably do not want us to wipe their nose or need us to apply sunscreen for them. Yet, despite their desire for independence they probably still want someone to fix their problems. This transition can be hard for parents, too. We are still their parents, and we know…
Betrayal cuts deep. It’s more than just a broken promise; it’s a wound that strikes at the core of trust, safety, and connection in a relationship. Whether the betrayal involves infidelity, dishonesty, or unmet expectations, the emotional fallout can feel overwhelming. But here’s the truth: healing is possible. With compassion, patience, and the right tools, you can navigate this challenging path and come out stronger on the other side. Facing the Pain Betrayal stirs up a storm of emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, and even shame might flood your heart and mind. It’s important to give yourself…
Do you notice you are thinking (and caring) too much about what others are doing? Do you change often change your behaviour due to the influence of others? Are you cutting off friends due to their differing beliefs or values? Do you let your parents' comments influence your opinion of your romantic partner? Enmeshment is a psychological term that describes a blurring, or lack of, boundaries between people. Many times it occurs in families. Adult children engage in behaviours they don't want to because of their feelings of guilt about what their parents will think of them. Having an opinion…
It might seem like a stretch to think that experiences with your caregiver that happened as early as day one...or even hour one...of life, would influence how you might experience relationships as an adult. Those non-verbal cues like eye contact, your caregiver's tone, their presence (consistent or otherwise), whether they held you, hugged you, and so many other interactions all affected future relationship. That's not intended to sound ominous but more, to help you possibly understand how some of the strengths or maybe vulnerabilities within your relationships now, might be influenced. If…
It is common and understandable to have reactions to "parts work". It is becoming a common way of working with trauma and family dysfunction that has been made popular by Internal Family Systems (IFS). I use it a lot in my work with people. Common reactions are - I don't have parts, I am just me, or that parts are not real; we imagine them. There may be other reactions. One that comes up for me (even though I work in this way) is that I don't like to go along with the latest fad and that nothing is new. So, I want to put IFS into perspective and discuss how we might see a "part."…
The shame cycle explained.
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Even the mention of shame brings up a desire to avoid even talking about it. It is the worst feeling and experience. It can be experienced as a constant dull ache lurking to erupt if we give it any attention, to a sudden flash of heat and intense feeling of needing to disappear. Shame is a relational experience. In other words, we are shamed by others and we develop internal shaming to prevent further experiences of shame, including shaming others. This cycle of shame is hard to break. It can be useful to understand how this develops to find a way out and heal. Here are the steps: A bad thing…
Have you ever noticed that you don't like being alone? The thought of downtime or quiettime is overwhelming and you'll do anything you can to avoid it. Maybe you find you fill your space and time with work, friend, your kids...and when they're all busy, you still find places or spaces to be, so you don't have to be alone. This might mean a place like Costco, or it could just mean plugging in the vaccum so you can feel like you're doing something and you're avoiding any thoughts or emotions that might be felt in the quiet. Perhaps there's a relationship, an experience or a trauma you're worried…
Loneliness is a universal emotion experienced by individuals in various situations and at different times. Despite being in the company of others, this emotion can persist, causing internal distress. There are moments when this sense of isolation intensifies, leaving us in solitude and affecting various aspects of our lives. To overcome the grip of loneliness, it is essential to understand what can be done and how we can liberate ourselves from its clutches. Many of us have distanced ourselves from our true selves, contributing to the profound sense of isolation. Let's honestly acknowledge our…
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