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In recent years, the Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, has provided valuable insights into understanding the connection between chronic stress, anxiety, and our body's innate response system. This theory suggests that our autonomic nervous system plays a crucial role in our emotional well-being. The theory is based on the notion that this system is dynamically regulated by our experiences and can greatly impact our mental health. The autonomic nervous system consists of three components: the ventral vagal nerve, the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), and the dorsal vagal nerve…

Internal Family System, developed by Richard Schwartz, a Marriage and Family Therapist, is a therapeutic approach that recognizes the presence of different parts within individuals, just like how different members exist within a family. The purpose of Internal Family System is to address and work with these various internal parts. In my therapy sessions with clients, I often utilize this approach to help them identify their internal parts and activate the Self, which serves as the leader of these internal family members (the parts). Allow me to share a personal example of how I have applied…

Have you ever noticed that you don't like being alone? The thought of downtime or quiettime is overwhelming and you'll do anything you can to avoid it. Maybe you find you fill your space and time with work, friend, your kids...and when they're all busy, you still find places or spaces to be, so you don't have to be alone. This might mean a place like Costco, or it could just mean plugging in the vaccum so you can feel like you're doing something and you're avoiding any thoughts or emotions that might be felt in the quiet. Perhaps there's a relationship, an experience or a trauma you're worried…

Loneliness is a universal emotion experienced by individuals in various situations and at different times. Despite being in the company of others, this emotion can persist, causing internal distress. There are moments when this sense of isolation intensifies, leaving us in solitude and affecting various aspects of our lives. To overcome the grip of loneliness, it is essential to understand what can be done and how we can liberate ourselves from its clutches. Many of us have distanced ourselves from our true selves, contributing to the profound sense of isolation. Let's honestly acknowledge our…

Anticipating the holiday season can bring an array of emotions, thoughts and expectations. You might love family traditions, reflecting with joy and that warm tingly feeling in your body. You know it as a season where everyone is happy (well, mostly) and can't wait for jammie days, movie marathons, board games and probably a little (lot) of holiday food. It's wonderful! Alternatively, you might cringe a little as you begin to plan what the holidays could look like this year. Your kids are older, some of them may have a significant other and their time is split. It's possible the cost of travel…

You notice you’re struggling to say ‘no’ when friends, family members, co-workers, your partner or even your kids need something. Your head wants to say ‘yes’ to their request. But your heart (emotions, energy, joy) might be noticing it’s feeling more resentful than joyful. You often say yes anyway, because that’s what people expect and if you don’t do (fill-in-the-blank), who will? (This is an inner thought you might have noticed.) You have tried to cultivate boundaries before, but others have ignored them, or you’ve felt guilty and decided that it’s easier to do what others ask than decline…

October is breast cancer awareness month. Having worked with breast cancer patients since 2017, I have heard from so many patients about how this disease has impacted them. I thought I would share a few themes that I have noticed over the years (in no particular order): Navigating the medical system can be confusing and/or stressful – With a diagnosis of breast cancer, patients can find themselves with multiple doctors and medical professionals involved in their care. It is typical to have a surgeon/specialist, a medical oncologist (a doctor who prescribes chemotherapy if needed and monitors…

You might notice that at times, in particular with your partner, you just don't seem to connect well. Arguments that started out of nowhere, leave you feeling like you're spinning. When you're noticing a rupture after an argument, the way you try to reconnect or repair it and the way your friend or partner might try to do so, causes more miscommunication than you before you made this attempt. So disheartening! This is most likely a product of your early childhood experiences...of what happened to you. Whether you are aware or not, the way you were cared for and connected with your early…

When I started reading about psychology, I was ravenous to “figure everything out”. I could not get enough of learning about our patterns, how to deal with emotions, and to find out how normal I was. I read voraciously for years, believing that if only I had a sense of mastery over my struggles and how to communicate with others effectively, that I would resolve my sense of internal shame. I will let you in on something. A small percentage of the things I have learned and read about have helped – self compassion, understanding myself better, normalizing my experiences, and gaining perspective…

Anxiety and depression can often feel like a battle. There may be thoughts that “it shouldn’t be happening” or that “you should be able to overcome this”. Ongoing anxiety and depression trigger natural responses to fight, escape or give up - but none of these responses seem to work. In fact, these responses keep anxiety and depression in place. There is another option that brings you back into your power - allowing. The battle ends when depression and anxiety are no longer seen as a battle.