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Everyone finds relationships challenging at times. You're not alone! But there are different ways these challenges present and also different degrees of challenge. Are you someone who feels ok when not in a relationship but as soon as you're in it your overthinking starts up? (1) Is your overthinking more on the anxious side? For example, you may find yourself pondering on the daily what the status of your relationship is. When arguing or having conflict with your boyfriend or girlfriend you may worry that you two are breaking up. When they leave the house you may wonder if they still love you…

Have you ever been intensely frustrated by not know what is causing you to experience nagging and uncomfortable emotions, seemingly out of the blue? We have all experienced this scenario. We are having a reasonably good day, perhaps even relaxing with friends, when we are suddenly overwhelmed by unwanted negative thoughts or emotions. Something in our mental process has caused us to become “triggered” to a negative thought or feeling, that could take hours or days to recover from. Identifying the causes of these mental triggers is a crucial first step in managing one's mental health and…

Break ups can be very hard. It is normal to experience feelings that change a lot. People describe an emotional "whiplash," with feelings changing every hour. You may miss her and romanticize what the relationship was. Then an hour later you may experience anger at her and remember all the bad parts of the relationship. This kind of whiplash is normal but can be uncomfortable. One activity that can help process through this grief in a more structured and comfortable way is the flashcard exercise. Get a ring of flashcards. On one side of the flashcard write something you miss about him. Maybe…

Navigating life after experiencing narcissistic abuse can be an incredibly challenging journey. For many survivors, having others believe their circumstances is crucial as they often question their own reality and are learning to trust themselves again. Whether it was in a personal relationship, family dynamic, or even in a professional setting, the effects of narcissistic abuse can leave deep emotional scars. Understanding what narcissistic abuse is and how to heal from it is crucial for reclaiming your sense of self-worth and moving forward in a positive direction. What is Narcissistic Abuse…

Being in pain, emotionally or relationally, is what draws many people to find a therapist. Currently, therapy is enjoying a cultural moment of popularity. You may have heard a version of “everyone needs therapy” or “therapy is for you if you have experienced childhood.” While mostly light-hearted, these prompts speak to those who notice pain in themselves and those around them. The Purpose Of A Process Group A process group is an unstructured, collaborative therapy. By joining a process group, you commit to bringing up what is going on for you and being present with others who are doing the…

Are you feeling stifled in your relationship? Not sure if you are in love anymore? Having an increased frequency of arguments? You might be in the stage of your relationship where you're negotiating your needs with your partner's needs. Couples Experts Ellyn Bader and her partner Peter saw over 50, 000 couples in the United States and created the Developmental Model of Couple Relationships: A Positive Outlook on How Relationships Develop. In the beginning of the relationship it's common to feel like there's so much similarity between us, almost like we grew up together. The lovely bonding…

It might seem like a stretch to think that experiences with your caregiver that happened as early as day one...or even hour one...of life, would influence how you might experience relationships as an adult. Those non-verbal cues like eye contact, your caregiver's tone, their presence (consistent or otherwise), whether they held you, hugged you, and so many other interactions all affected future relationship. That's not intended to sound ominous but more, to help you possibly understand how some of the strengths or maybe vulnerabilities within your relationships now, might be influenced. If…

It is common and understandable to have reactions to "parts work". It is becoming a common way of working with trauma and family dysfunction that has been made popular by Internal Family Systems (IFS). I use it a lot in my work with people. Common reactions are - I don't have parts, I am just me, or that parts are not real; we imagine them. There may be other reactions. One that comes up for me (even though I work in this way) is that I don't like to go along with the latest fad and that nothing is new. So, I want to put IFS into perspective and discuss how we might see a "part."…

I am going to say something somewhat controversial. We have very few needs in our relationships. I might go as far as saying that we don’t need anything from our partner. We need air to breathe and food to eat. This is the level of need. It is associated with our survival. Language is powerful. This is why when we use the word need to express what we want in relationships it has the energy of ‘must-have urgency’ behind it. It is a demand. Let’s compare expressions for a moment. I need your attention vs I want your attention or can I have your attention? Take a moment to say each phrase out…

In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an inevitable part of our daily lives. From the moment we wake up, we are bombarded with a myriad of responsibilities and demands, be it emails, client calls, household tasks, or caregiving. As a result, our sympathetic nervous system, responsible for triggering the fight-or-flight response, is constantly triggered, leading to feelings of overwhelm and short tempers. However, there is a way to regain control and find balance amidst this chaos – mindfulness. The Sympathetic Nervous System: A Constant Trigger:Our sympathetic nervous system is a…