Blog

Are you a woman looking for a loving, committed partner? Someone who reliably shows up for you when you need them? Someone you can build a life, a family, and a future with? Are you -in reality- dating someone who cannot commit? Someone who doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with you? What has happened here? How do women who want a real relationship end up in a situationship? A couple of common ways this happens. (1) Sometimes a woman thinks she wants to casually date and tries it and then realizes after some time that she's actually a relationship person. She can't be casual with…

September can bring a lot of fun. Crunching on leaves during a morning run. Pulling on soft, colourful sweaters. Being hit with that sweet smell of chili when you open the crock pot. Decluttering and getting tasks done with ease in the fresh, softly rainy, air. Returning to classes or to the office, greeting familiar faces and catching up on each others' summer adventures. People experience September differently. For some, there's an electricity of excitement and fun nerves with this new season. However, for many people September brings the opposite experience. It's the worst. It's ripe with…

How's parenting going for you these days? If you're finding it easy that's great. Some people find parenting comes easily to them. Others find it pretty challenging. Especially this day in age with anxiety in our kids reaching maximum levels. How do you manage your child or teen's anxiety? Are you able to be present and not take it on? Or does it ruin your mood when your child is having a hard time? It's totally normal and expected to not be thrilled when your kids are down. You love them and want to protect them. Do you often take on their emotions too deeply though? To the point where your…

Everyone finds relationships challenging at times. You're not alone! But there are different ways these challenges present and also different degrees of challenge. Are you someone who feels ok when not in a relationship but as soon as you're in it your overthinking starts up? (1) Is your overthinking more on the anxious side? For example, you may find yourself pondering on the daily what the status of your relationship is. When arguing or having conflict with your boyfriend or girlfriend you may worry that you two are breaking up. When they leave the house you may wonder if they still love you…

I'm not so much of a "New Year Resolutions" person. I'm more of a "Create a Life you Like and Live it Everyday" kind of person. People come in to my office any time of the year, January or otherwise, to work on being happier, being more confident, being healthier, and being braver. What do you like spending your day doing? Being in nature? Being in front of a computer? Playing with your kids? And what are you actually spending your time doing? Listening to others vent? Commiserating about how hard life is? Numbing out on your phone? It's ok to do things you really want to be doing. Really. And…

I remember 10 years ago training in Internal Family Systems and using it for myself and for my clients. It wasn't a technique that was on many people's radar. But I found it very helpful personally as well as professionally. It was great to have a positive silver lining for all the parts of the clients that they were not fully proud of. It was great to have a compassion-based method that worked to help people be more present and themselves. And it helped to process trauma. In Internal Family Systems we are looking at the individual as a sum of parts. It's kind of like that movie, Inside Out…

Did you know that many people are helped by seeing a Counsellor while going through developmental changes? In our lifetime we experience many developmental periods such as: Going through Puberty. Transitioning to Adulthood. Moving in with a Partner. Becoming New Parents. Empty Nesting. Caring for Aging Parents. Transitioning to peri-menopause and menopause. Transitioning to Retirement. Preparing for Death and Dying. These times in our life can be full of learning and change and so part of that is exciting. However, the learning curve can be so steep that things start to feel overwhelming…

Do you notice you are thinking (and caring) too much about what others are doing? Do you change often change your behaviour due to the influence of others? Are you cutting off friends due to their differing beliefs or values? Do you let your parents' comments influence your opinion of your romantic partner? Enmeshment is a psychological term that describes a blurring, or lack of, boundaries between people. Many times it occurs in families. Adult children engage in behaviours they don't want to because of their feelings of guilt about what their parents will think of them. Having an opinion…

Break ups can be very hard. It is normal to experience feelings that change a lot. People describe an emotional "whiplash," with feelings changing every hour. You may miss her and romanticize what the relationship was. Then an hour later you may experience anger at her and remember all the bad parts of the relationship. This kind of whiplash is normal but can be uncomfortable. One activity that can help process through this grief in a more structured and comfortable way is the flashcard exercise. Get a ring of flashcards. On one side of the flashcard write something you miss about him. Maybe…

So, you have traits of ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder). Welcome! In recent months the number of people reporting traits of ADHD in my practice has increased considerably. While a clinical counsellor cannot diagnose ADHD (you'd want to see a GP, psychiatrist or psychologist for that) what they can do is support you in your journey and treat your symptoms (sometimes alongside another treatment provider). ADHD will affect one person very differently from another. Whether you have all of the traits of ADHD or just a few here are 3 examples of ways in which seeing a counsellor can…