Counselling Practice Website
Practice Information
I work from an anti-oppressive framework built on empathy and justice, specializing in working with folks who are exploring neurodiversity, kink, queer family systems, non-traditional parenting, and various non-normative relationship structures that fall somewhere within ethical non-monogamy and polyamorous ways of being.
The foundation of my interest in most of the therapeutic work that I do is rooted in my personal life journey and evolves as I expand. I was brought up in a conservative evangelical christian world where I felt like an unwelcome anomaly and came up hard against the rigid expectations and limits placed on me. I took my identity exploration on the road and lived a wild and vibrant young adult life out of a backpack seeking story from Delhi to Sarajevo to Cairo to Klaipeda. I wonder if a part of the driving force behind my expansive journeying was a search for some kind of relatability, some kind of history that looked a little more poly, kinky and queer than the one that I was taught.
Perhaps the greatest awareness with which I emerged was that we are a part of the natural world, within which there is abundant metaphor. Our emotions flow as the tides, we experience loss as predictably as the seasons, and the presence of change is consistent.
I have been counselling folks for over a decade now and a foundational part of my therapeutic work is supporting people in developing personal, natural ways to flow through turbulence. I find that the clients who benefit from working with me the most are clients who are at a place of readiness for some kind of a change. This can be readiness to shift ways of relating, readiness to be brutally honest, readiness to have accountability, readiness to speak the shame, readiness to start to do something different.
I have an integrated counselling approach that is curious and conversational, rooted in attachment theory, systems, parts work, and intersectional feminism. As a white person, I have a huge amount of privilege and this requires that I keep witnessing and listening and reading and unlearning and also knowing that there are so many experiences that I will just never come close to embodying. I approach my work with humility and I actively seek a balance of gratitude and discomfort. I believe that it is my responsibility to humanize and elevate marginalized voices and experiences.
My brain often thinks in metaphors far outside of the box; I like to challenge norms and explore nuance that people are often afraid to touch. I am comfortable hanging out in darkness and I welcome conversations surrounding death. I experience life on spectrums, poly as natural, kink as healing, and queerness as far more expansive than most people realize. I keep myself afloat by digging in the dirt, planting trees, foraging, dancing, and taking my medicines.
Areas of Interest:
Couples, Intimate Networks, Polyamory / Non-Monogamy, Relationship Counselling,
Anti-Oppression, Gender identity, Sexuality, Depression, Anxiety, Trauma, Religious Trauma, Neurodiversity.
The Grounding Stone was birthed in response to the isolation that many folks have been feeling in the rapidly evolving landscape of Vancouver. As the cost of surviving and feelings of alone-ness are on the rise, The Grounding Stone strives to support both individuals and the community as they connect with and support one another.
mj is the Founding Director of The Grounding Stone. She is a protege of Christine Waymark, Co-Founder of Dragonstone Counselling in Kitsilano. With forty years between them, Christine and mj share a special relationship as they both experienced trauma at the intersection of religion and queerness. mj and Christine have combined their energies in supervision of intern counselors at Dragonstone Counselling, and they both specialize in supporting folks who are both experiencing and have survived oppression, discrimination, abuse, and trauma related to non-acceptance. Christine has been a significant force in shaping mj's therapeutic approach and in shifting the way that she is able to relate to ideas and challenges that may seem insurmountable. mj describes this approach as one that seeks to move away from defining experiences, and rather, to find new ways of relating to experiences.
In the Summer of 2018, mj moved her practice out of Kitsilano and opened a physical space for The Grounding Stone in East Vancouver. A couple years later, the pandemic then provided The Grounding Stone Team with an unexpected opportunity to learn to let go of what they thought that they were offering, and to expand their offerings to the community in a whole new way.
This challenging opportunity resulted in mj and the whole Grounding Stone team expanding across the province of British Columbia and evolving into a tight knit virtual community. This shift has provided mj and the team an ability to offer counselling services and community to many more people in our BC communities in a format that can be sustained and maintained for the long term. Our team now operates within the unceded traditional territories of the Skwxwú7mesh Úxwumixw (Squamish), Xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Səl̓ilwətaɁɬ təməxʷ (Tsleil-Waututh) and the K’ómoks Peoples.