Toby Macklin

My primary focus is on helping men live more satisfying and meaningful lives, often in the face of trauma.

We men often try to push problems aside, but some are hard to ignore. You may feel painfully anxious or depressed. You may be unhappy in your work or your relationships, and likely struggle with a harsh internal voice of self-criticism. Perhaps you’ve realized that events in the past continue to impact you and are preventing you from living the way you want to.

Many men have had physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive childhoods, whose impact they continue to feel. Less obvious forms of dysfunction in families can also deeply affect a child’s sense of worth into adulthood. Some of the men I work with have had frightening or painful experiences as teens and younger adults, involving bullying, addiction, the illness or loss of loved ones, or their own physical and mental health. They've often been impacted by ADHD as well. Others have experienced religious trauma: if you grew up in a strict religious environment, or had adverse religious experiences later in life, you may now be struggling to find your way ahead.

You may have nightmares or insomnia, or find it hard to stop thinking about things that have happened. Maybe you’re irritable or on edge, or you over-react to seemingly small provocations. You find yourself yelling at your partner or your kids, and then feel guilty about it after. You look for ways to distract or numb your feelings (like drinking or using weed, video games or porn); or you try very hard to get rid of aspects of yourself you don’t like. But you know these methods aren’t really working and often cause more problems than they solve. You want something different.

HEALING AND GROWTH

The good news is that we all have innate resources that can empower us to heal and grow. When you come to counselling with me, we’ll work together to help you discover those resources, heal from traumatic experiences, resolve inner turmoil, and find renewed pleasure and purpose in your life.

Although trauma can have very painful consequences, it may also provide an opportunity to reevaluate your life and discover strengths and ambitions you didn’t know were there before. In our work together, we’ll aim for both healing and growth. Counselling can be a life-changing experience.

Contact me today to make an appointment. I reply to emails within 24 hours. If you do not receive my reply, please check in your spam folder (this has happened before) and/or contact me by phone.