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2025-06-24T23:31:19+00:00

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2024-11-25T18:49:34+00:00

2025-06-24T23:31:19+00:00

<p>I remember 10&nbsp;years ago training in Internal Family Systems and using it for myself and for my clients. It wasn&#39;t a technique that was on many people&#39;s radar. But I found it very helpful personally as well as professionally. It was great to have a positive silver lining for all the parts of the clients that they were not fully proud of. It was great to have a compassion-based method that worked to help people be more present and themselves. And it helped to process trauma.</p>

<p>In <em>Internal </em>Family Systems we are looking at the individual as a sum of parts. It&#39;s kind of like that movie, <em>Inside Out</em>. Sometimes there&#39;s a part of that comes forward and leads you, let&#39;s say the <em>OverAnalyzing</em>&nbsp;part. Using IFS we would get <strong>CURIOUS </strong>about that part. The main work here is curiousity. Without judgment we&#39;d just get curious. We&#39;d look at how it feels <strong>emotionally</strong> when that part is leading. What does it feel like <strong>bodily</strong> when that part is leading. And what are the <strong>thoughts</strong> you have when that part is leading.&nbsp;</p>

<p>I&#39;d ask, &quot;what part are you most curious about today?&nbsp;What part is getting extreme?&quot; You might suggest the <em>OverAnalyzer</em>. You&#39;ve been doing it after every social function. I&#39;d ask, &quot;think of a time you were OverAnalyzing. It may have been yesterday or on the weekend.&quot;</p>

<p>You&#39;d say, I was overanalyzing last night after getting home from my work party. The emotion was <strong>dread</strong> and it was a <strong>pit in my stomach</strong>. The thought was,<strong> &quot;What did I say&nbsp;that was stupid?&quot;</strong></p>

<p>I&#39;d&nbsp;ask the Overanalyzing part, &quot;what was your role in coming up yesterday?&quot; And it would say, &quot;I was going over the scenes to make sure [the client] said things properly.&quot; And we&#39;d ask the Overanalyzing part, &quot;what are you scared would happen to [the client]&nbsp;if you didn&#39;t work so hard for them?&quot; And the OverAnalyzer would say, &quot;I&#39;m worried [the client]&nbsp;won&#39;t learn how to speak at social events&nbsp;and could feel&nbsp;embarrassment&nbsp;at a future function.&quot;</p>

<p>Ah.&nbsp;That makes sense.</p>

<p>No one wants to feel embarrassment. It makes sense to have a part of you that is protecting your from future embarrassment. We&#39;d get compassion for the OverAnalyzer. We&#39;d thank it for helping [the client] be protected from future embarrassment.</p>

<p>When you realize&nbsp;there&#39;s a positive function to a part of you that&#39;s been extreme, it&#39;s a great relief. <strong>You&#39;re&nbsp;not crazy.</strong> You&#39;re&nbsp;not doing things for no reason. You&#39;re&nbsp;trying to <strong>protect yourself</strong>&nbsp;from an unpleasant feeling or situation.</p>

<p>We&#39;d then <strong>tune into that lovely sensation</strong> that comes up when you gets a moment of <strong>Self-Acceptance.</strong> It may feel like a lightening in the shoulders or an opening in the belly. Or a feeling of relief. It&#39;s in the tuning in that you are changing neural pathways in your brain. You are forging new ways for the brain to go instead of the other well-trodden ones.</p>

<p>If desired, I&#39;d&nbsp;teach you how to practice asking your part these IFS questions&nbsp;at home.</p>

<p>After a few times of practicing this exercise with me and at home you would notice a change. The part is no longer&nbsp;<strong>automatically </strong>coming up.<strong>&nbsp;</strong>The OverAnalyzer realizes you are aware of what&#39;s up and it moves back, trusting that you can handle the situation with other tools.</p>

<p>With it stepping back, you now have&nbsp;a thought or an option for a <strong>new behaviour</strong>. Something that is new and creative and something you may not have thought of before&nbsp;And that&#39;s what we are looking for. We don&#39;t want the OverAnalyzer to go away completely, sometimes we do need to be analyzing ourselves. But we want it to step back enough so you can <strong>choose</strong> whether or not to use it.&nbsp;</p>

<p>If IFS is interesting to you I&#39;d be happy to use it with you. Come in and get to know yourself and your parts so you can be more self-aware. The more you notice the parts the more the parts realize you are a capable adult and the more they recede to the background so you can spend more of your time acting as your real self</p>

<p>&nbsp;</p>

<p>Natalie Hansen, M.A., R.C.C.</p>

<p>NatalieHansenCounselling@gmail.com</p>

<p>(604) 816-6532</p>

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