Stop the Hamster Wheel of Busy-ness

5 questions to put a stop to excessive to-dos 

If there’s one commonality among people today, it’s the mutual agreement that life is busy. Talk about an understatement. Know anyone who complains of having too much time on their hands? No, probably not. 

Another great understatement is there’s not enough time in a day. The list of tasks and responsibilities is non-stop, endless and overwhelming when daily or weekly requirements include work, home, family and friends. To-do lists are never finished. They become ever-growing documents allowing guilt and frustration to grow with them. 

Many will say it’s like running on a hamster wheel with no end (and no treats) in sight. But how did you get on the wheel in the first place? Often, it starts with simple tasks that are small, harmless and seem to make sense. But before you know it, extras are added that take up longer periods of time and voila… your life has moved from manageable to a never-ending routine of busy-ness.

This perpetual wheel of demands isn’t healthy in any sense of the word. We need to take a moment to look at the patterns we’ve created and how we can better manage them. Look closely at your bottomless to-do list. You know when the tasks seemed manageable and logical, but when did the added volume creep in? Just when did the needs of others combine with the day-to-day tasks to take over your life? Identifying the pattern allows us to determine what is creating the busy-ness and lets us step back to make changes. 

Beyond doing the necessary chores like laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep and then a few items for ourselves like taking online classes, exercising or friend time, there are also all the demands that involve the wishes of others. Helping, pleasing and taking care of other people’s needs is a double-edged sword. It can feel good because it provides a sense of purpose and accomplishment but too much of this proud and virtuous thing can also cause us to feel overtaxed, burdened, bitter, resentful and taken for granted. It can get to the point when shows of appreciation are meaningless and can’t cut through the negativity we feel due to the strain.

We are able to cope when excess demands are short-term and finite because we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But, when demands are long-term and ongoing we step onto the hamster wheel of overwhelm. There is no end in sight: tasks are unlimited, there is never a time when enough gets done nor is there a day when you feel accomplished. Your stuff, my stuff, our stuff, their stuff: it’s all too much. Burnout is common when exhaustion is a constant and we’re left feeling like it’s our fault and that somehow we’re the problem. We’ve not done enough or we simply aren’t enough.

The Tipping Point

When it feels like it’s never going to stop and you’re unsure how to carry on, it’s time to change. Unfortunately, this change has to come from you, which can feel like yet another thing on the damn to-do list. You have to take control because realistically your work, family and friends are not about to stop hinting, asking or demanding. Yes, it’s hard accepting that the change you need comes down to you, but it also provides that necessary sense of control.

Before you panic, know that the change need not be huge to make a difference in how you feel. Small changes can have a big impact. What creates a shift is identifying and acting on one thing that you are willing to let go of to be a better you. And a better you means adding your needs to the list, even moving them closer to the top and improving how you feel..

Here are five areas to consider when you are ready to make a step towards lasting, beneficial change:

1) Is there an ongoing or long-standing obligation that is no longer wanted or needed?

There is a difference between a requirement (not really negotiable such as a weekly check-in with a supervisor) and an obligation (a feeling of should, not want).

i.e: Obligations you might be ready to let go of could be things like a weekly coffee date, constant texting with someone or monthly inter-departmental meetings without an agenda.

2) Is the timing of certain activities well planned?

It is easy to get caught up in the immediacy of an idea or goal, but what is the best timing? 

i.e: Would you be more motivated to increase your physical activity to support weight loss in the summer when conditions encourage motivation?

3) Is there consideration for efficiency?

Look at the task separate from the person and decide if you are the best one to fulfill the need. Should the person in need find alternative options? Perhaps, it can be delegated or shared.

i.e: Groceries and other items can be ordered online, then picked up or delivered instead of you spending time shopping or driving. Another family member passes by the pet store and can pick up pet food rather than you taking 30 minutes out of your schedule.

4) Have you explored the under-pinnings of certain tasks?

It may be time to examine if there is a genuine want or desire around the task or if it is an obligation done as a means to reduce guilty feelings.

i.e: This could be spending time with a friend who is high maintenance, has no other friends, is full of drama, isn’t a good fit, etc.

5) Is an issue from the past taking up your mental energy and causing resentment

Unresolved issues are fully felt in the present, complete with negative feelings, overthinking and stress. What needs to be resolved and let go of?

i.e: Now is the time to tell that person about what has been eating at you and what you want. Or, it’s time to decide the issue is not that negative, important or catastrophic and let it be part of the past.

These five questions to start creating a better you are posed so that you can take a minute to stop the hamster wheel and assess the validity, importance and presence of your busy-ness. You can choose to take control.

Small activities lead to big benefits. Think about taking 20 minutes for yourself and focus on one of these five areas or consider another small change that feels right. You’d be working to improve your mindset and emotional health. 

Identify one change that makes the most sense for you right now. It could be a walk instead of an errand, a coffee/tea without your phone, taking time to do some deep breathing, a week of grocery delivery instead of shopping, skipping the draining chat with that friend or going to bed 15 minutes earlier. Small but impactful!

Can you imagine feeling more positive about the things in your day, with a new perspective and positivity? It is possible, one change at a time. You have the ability to create the life you want by starting with one small action that will have great benefits 

If you feel like the demands put on you exceed the resources and energy you have available, then its time for small changes. If you are ready to tackle the exhaustion, stop feeling drained and set up a more balanced life, contact us at 604-349-8660 or pam@pampaquet.com/home to arrange your change session.