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When you’ve been struggling with anxiety or depression for awhile it can be hard to feel that there is any hope for things to change. Added to how stuck you might be feeling is the constant reinforcement in our culture of the idea of a quick fix. It's the "Here, just do this one thing and you will feel better indefinitely" kind of attitude. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about people getting relief as quickly as possible. It’s just that this kind of attitude can be a setup when what is needed is patience, time, and realistic, achievable goals. It’s a paradox but change can be both quick and slow…
I regularly hear from people that they desire to have more happiness. An understandable desire! But if someone is experiencing flatness the next step isn’t to feel happy, it’s to feel. And rarely (although I can’t say never) do I hear someone say, “Can you help me to feel more sadness, more anger, more fear?” along with their request for more happiness. Also understandable! We all have a history that has shaped our relationship to emotion. Often that history hasn’t included healthy models for how to be with feeling and how to express feeling. Sometimes we have learned that some emotions are…
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